Growing up I always had to share my birthday whether it be with my brother whose is the day before mine, or with my mom as it often overlaps with mother’s day. I continue to share it as an adult since my best friend also has the same exact birthday as me. This year I stepped it up even more this time and shared it with 5 other homegirls as we took it international and celebrated my 30th in the Dominican Republic.

The trip was fun, not only because of the all inclusive food and liquor, but because it was like the good old days when we’d take our summer girl group trips every year and party it up. I am glad we can still hang like that, although it is a little more modified as we older now (more pepto bismol and napping lol).

Highlights of the trip included:

- Not sleeping at all the night of our departure.
- Getting to the airport at 3:30 am, all dressed up in huge straw hats and sunglasses.
- Reading out loud from Melissa’s book “The good ones are not all taken” while on the flight to Miami, traumatizing an elderly couple in front of us.
- Connecting in Miami to DR. We later vowed as a sisterhood of traveling pants never to do this again.
- Me and Mel doing some preventative DVT exercises in our seats during the flight.
- Walking through the most tropical airport I’ve ever seen in my whole life. Punta Cana airport looks like a resort itself.
- Checking into our rooms which are fully loaded, with a hot tub in the bathroom but for some reason no wall between the bathroom and bed. (Fricken Europeans)
- Getting drinks by the pool and disturbing people that were trying t o read. (Read on your own time)
- Going to dinner our first night and falling asleep at the table (slow service mixed with old heffers who didn’t sleep all night).
- Me and Mel going to sleep at 11 pm our first night (again, we are older now)
- Sitting at the pool drinking and trying to figure which IRA we are supposed to open. “Is it a Roth IRA where you don’t get taxed now?” (Again, we are not young anymore)
- Discovering K.U.I (Kayaking under the influence)
- Mel and Yadi guest bartending at cocktail hour by the pool.
- Yadi shoving Mel playfully, sending her to straight the floor during midday cocktail hour (Whoopsie Daisies)
- Becoming BFF with the entertainment staff which included a girl that resembled Stacey Dash. (Como se dice “Clueless”)
- Going to club Mangu and getting beyond excited to hear “I get Money” come on.
- Losing Elana in the club.
- Discovering that the club had no running water in the bathrooms dique “oh we ran out” WTF?!
- Finding another group of New Yorkers outside the club. They overheard us say the word “son” and the radar went off.
- Getting home when it was light out. (again I don’t do that often in my older age)
- Getting massages at the beach to the sound of waves crashing.
- Having discussions about our bodily functions through out the day AKA PT (Again, this is what concerns us at our age)
- Discovering the singer Omega after hearing his song “Tu No Estas Para Mi” played everywhere we went.
- The singing rocks that lined the pathways of the resorts (Where the hell is that noise coming from?)
- Surviving our banana boat excursion as we tipped over. Adria now has a war wound on her face (“damn you got beef shorty?”) and Melissa disappeared momentarily under the contraption. (“somebody come gettt meeeeee”)
- Wanda surviving food poisoning. (We told you not to eat that sausage)
- Going back to Mangu, and me dancing merengue all night with a guy named Akon who became my instant boyfriend.
- Adria almost fighting a strange man who swore I was his girl outside the club (again poor Akon, got beef already)
- Where’s Yadi???
- Me becoming fluent in Spanish after a night of red bull and vodka. Again poor Akon, he had to listen to my banter in Spanish.
- Me asking him every five minutes “como se dice just joshing”
- Him not having any idea what that meant
- Yadi’s infamous bikini.
- Yadi parasailing in her infamous bikini. When she got strapped up she looked like she had a pair of prince assless chaps on.
- Everyone Stopping Melissa and telling her she is Dominican. “Why yes, yes I am”
- The beeeeeeeech part-tay. Complete with Babe roasting away. Luckily, I don’t eat meat right now.
- Us having to take a nap before going out (I told u we are old!)
- New material like Shoop (shut up), Everyone just calm down!, grandote (Adria), Stop ruining my life! and wanky panky?
- Me getting yet another nickname “No-vani”
- Wilson taking all of us out for a night on the town. (Thanks for coming along Adria and Wanda on my group date lol)
- Melissa riding around on a moped (true Dominican).
- Us stopping at the hood gas station where it is $7 a gallon. No wonder everyone is on mopeds!
- Finally making it to Areito club after Adria thought we might get robbed there if we ever went.
- Getting the breakfast staff to make Mangu especially for us.
- Me and Mel getting a surprise hotel room party. “When did you have time to blow up balloons?”
- Us being in a promotional video for the resort.
- Disguising Malibu [we bought in duty free] in a water bottle all day long (“come on we have to finish the bottle or we pay taxes on it!”)
- Adria not knowing this and taking a huge swig thinking it was water. (gotta work on our communication)
- Boris (AKA Borat) giving Adria a rose telling her to “Have a trip!” Thanks Boris.
- Boris writing her a poem and saying he will miss her (5 minutes after meeting her)
- The 12 hour trip home. (NO MORE CONNECTING FLIGHTS PEOPLE)
- Stepping out into 50 degree weather in flip flops and wishing I was back in DR already.

The End!