I thought a lot about how birthdays would be after the anxiety of turning thirty lately. Would they be as exciting and anxiety filled? would it still feel like a “big” deal? I found out today when I turned thirty-one. The verdict is in everyone: it felt like any other day. Nothing special. I started going about my day just like any other too when suddenly the thought came into my head – where was I a year ago today?

I realized besides the obvious – I was on a beach in Punta cana  last year at this time – so much has changed in one year. I don’t live in the same borough much less the same apt. I upgraded to a bigger place and somehow managed to pay less. I am not at the same job I was last year, I am actually doing what I love for a bigger and better company. And I am not in the same relationship as I was i.e. the same cycle of drama. I have a totally clean slate in the dating department (phew). Going down the list I happily realized this was no ordinary day afterall. This marked a new day and a new phase of my life. 

This is the day I recognize how much I am still growing and learning new things about myself. I am still deciding what it is I want in life and choosing it, over and over. I have the power to choose and that makes all the difference. The best part of this process is learning to trust myself again and to enjoy the journey. I no longer feel the need to judge myself for not doing things a certain way or for the things I cannot control. I’ve learned there is no right or wrong, things just are. That has been the best gift I could ever give myself. With that understanding and newfound gentleness I find myself contently in “the flow” of life. And one step closer to being whole.

What a truly happy birthday, indeed.